Friday, October 23, 2009
Once I was there in that darkness filled with emptiness
Clouded with fears and scares threatening to kill nevertheless
I was there standing alone craving to let myself free
Fighting against odd spirits that very notion within me
It was tears all over; spreading its wings traveled all my life
‘Come out’ Liberation encouraged me with an enchanting smile
All my lies and fakes mounting like a lava periling an erupt
Control was not within me, it was the Orb warning to react
Time was running
My heart was dying
Glowing grey hairs portraying the lack of love in my days
Carved with loneliness barricading the truth in its ways
Nature seems to be their only artillery blocking my happiness
Choices are not chosen as virtues under our family values
I was enchained with their beliefs, covered with moral ethics
Killing the true me was considered mercy in their social clinics
Closeting in someone’s shoes hurting my horrified heart
Their Laughter was daunting me to accept that painful act
By resisting to lie
I refused to die
Written by: Vikki
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
What is the nature of an explosion and what causes it to detonate? A sentence like this is likely to attract the roaming eyes of the secret services – as any mention of detonation these days is highly sensitive. However, there has to be a bang – but before there is a bang the ingredients have to be right.
Now we all have different ideas of what makes for a great party – some like to drink, some like to talk, some like to dance – and more besides – which I can’t discuss here….
We are all different and difference is what makes the world go round – so before I say anything else about what makes a party – I will say –
You have to begin somewhere – and where better than on the roof of a fancy bar overlooking a beach and the moonlit waves crashing on the shore? It was a grand setting indeed with the added blessing of a breeze to cool the wet t- shirts of the dancing diva’s who gave it their all on the dance floor –
All credit to those in pink who made the greatest effort on the floor – they lead the way with enthusiasm and managed to persuade even the shyest of men onto their feet.
The roof top setting was elegant and so people sat in chairs or talked, like cooing doves on benches beneath the stars. There were introductions and flirtations and guys meeting guys – which is always thrilling – in the open – relaxed and at ease – being themselves – beginning to feel a little more free – little by little……
There was dancing and drinks and food and guys and even a few girls – there were tall ones and short ones and fat ones and thin ones – old ones and young ones and cute ones and fun ones – there was a DJ and a dance floor and flashing lights and a sea breeze – it was a Saturday night in Chennai and it was a party for gay men ……the ingredients for an explosion were all in place.
So there was something for everyone – and that is no small achievement – it’s impossible to please everyone all the time – so if everyone got something from the event that is something good.
So, well done to the organizers – a step in the right direction – as well as a desire to make each event – each month – bigger and better!
As one who has been lucky enough to party in many gay capitals of the world from London, Paris, New York, LA and Sydney – I have to say – Chennai has something non of these cities have now – and that is that Chennai is fresh! Young! Excited by what is possible! Ready to break out and take risks – it’s New! And “newness,” as the great gay modernist poet Ezra Pound said – “is everything!”
Here’s to the next explosion!!
Written by: Sebastian
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Written by: Vikki
I was there waiting for his appearance, I was surrounded by hundreds of hot guys wearing different shades of dresses and looks, still I was looking for that special one. Somewhere in the corner of my mind the song from J Lo’s ‘Waiting for you tonight’ playing again and again. “ Will he be there tonight?”, “Even if he comes, will he talk to me?”, “Can I have that beautiful smile from him at least?”, millions of question arising in my little brain, it was multi-tasking.
After hours of torturing time finally he arrived. He was there standing tall with bunch of friends who looked even hottier. I was stoned, speechless. My time machine was running wild; it was in a feral state. The rehearsals I had for that first meet gone totally fuzzy, I had dreamt of that moment, prepared thousands of permutation and combination to approach him and introduce myself, but I lost my maths. I was just standing there like a Liberty statue, my heart was the only organ operating at that time pounding faster than drums of Sivamani.
He looked hotter than the pictures in his profile which I have gone through zillion of times. He was wearing an outfit which could pit my poor costume on that day. Arguably he was the most dazzling guy in the crowd. I saw him still standing there in the entrance waiting for something or someone, I had no clue. Then he just came in. I anchored myself 5 feet away from him when he passed me. I couldn’t move an inch. It was a Sadapti Express, which I could rewind and play in my mind hundred times at nights.
Somebody came and woke me up, I was totally lost myself in the woods. Where were those introduction speeches I have prepared all these days to talk with him? I had no idea if he noticed me, if he knew there was this crazy boy standing 5 feet away from him waiting for years to meet him? My second standard class teacher was shouting at me saying “You are a stupid boy, hopeless idiot”.
Now my sensor was all over him, I was closely watching every move of his. He turned 200 times and looked at people standing behind me. He glanced 100 times searching for someone. He smiled and laughed infinite times to get the attention of someone. I was wondering if he knew my name or at least he knew my existence. It was a horrible, pain taking night. Crashed my memories and fantasies I had all these days. I have managed to say ‘Hi’ to 99 guys out of 100 that night. It must be my worst nightmare. And then in the end I saw him leaving with bunch of hotties. He turned to say ‘Bye’ to someone standing next to me, in few seconds he vanished in the dark.
I came home and slept badly to erase my worst day of my life, if I could have a time machine, I can rewind and go back, say ‘Hi’ to him at least this time. Next morning was even more worse. My laptop was covered with dust. The coffee I drank was sugarless. The day started with pathetic moments. My internet connection was slower than tortoise. Finally I have managed to open my PR account and check the messages. There was just one message, it was from him saying “Seems you were too busy last night, you didn’t even notice me, not even one glance or smile, you said ‘Hi’ to everyone except me, i tried my best to get your attention and failed. I guess you didn’t see me, is it?”
Written by: Vikki